Words of Wisdom

Most of us have been fortunate in our professional lives to have had someone who took us under their wing. These people are variously known as ‘mentor,’ ‘teacher’ or ‘rabbi’ but I think of mine as a ‘friend’ in the purest sense of the word - - someone who cares about you.  They guide us, support us, encourage us, nudge us, annoy us, look out for us, tell us what we don’t want to hear and are always willing and available to help. They do this naturally, without thinking - - it is simply part of their nature.  

 

My friend has been and is Sonny Sonnenfeld who recently retired to Las Vegas, after many years in the architectural and stage lighting business. If you have attended any industry convention, you have certainly seen him. Twenty-five years ago Sonny visited Brannigan Lorelli Associates where I had accepted a position after a few frustrating years of trying to support myself as a lighting designer. He brought bagels and coffee (his trademark) and immediately introduced himself.  Within a few minutes we were talking as though we had known each other for years. Then the trouble started. He would come by the office with several legal pad sheets worth of hand written notes for me.  I should visit so-and-so . . .  I should write an article for such-and-such a magazine . . .  I should read this article . . . I should take this or that class. Sheesh! I had a full-time job and was plenty busy - - how could I find time for this (even if I wanted?)  I am now older and (hopefully) wiser and am very glad that Sonny took the time to care about me. His friendship has taught me things about life and theater consulting that I could never have learned elsewhere. 

 

At his retirement party I received a surprise.  Attending were stage lighting designers, architectural lighting designers, theater consultants, engineers, manufacturers, sales people, family and friends.  This was not the surprise. The ages ranged from early twenties to middle seventies.  This was not a surprise because I already knew that Sonny knew everyone in the business. What knocked me for a loop was when people were invited to the microphone to say a few words and they all had stories similar to mine!  I was so jealous - - I thought the special relationship we had was unique. After my turn at the mic, I realized that this was one of Sonny’s most special talents - - to make everyone feel like his personal friend. Richard Pilbrow (lighting designer  and author) told this story at the party. He didn’t know Sonny was a salesman for several months until one of his staff told him. Richard thought Sonny was just a friend of someone at the firm - - and so he was.

 

Aside from paying homage to Sonny, I believe his approach to working in the theater is relevant to all of us. Every one must learn ‘how to get along.’ This life lesson is especially important for those who work with the public and supervise diverse staff - - remind you of someone you see in the mirror each morning? Sonny recently published an article in Lighting & Sound America entitled, “How I got to be a retiree.’ In it he lists some things he would like to pass on. With his permission I will repeat them here.

§  Make friends with everyone that you can. The floor sweeper of today may be the Josh Logan or Julie Taymore of tomorrow.

 

§  Be positive and cheerful. No one likes to be with negative people. Be fun to be with. 

§  Don’t say no to legitimate requests. Respond in a positive manner. Be a “yes” person, not a ‘no’ person. 

§  Be accurate, be complete, be on time. 

§  Think and plan ahead. Prevent the fire, don’t put it out. 

§  Be the one who makes things happen. 

§  Learn to write – reports, proposals, articles and a resume. 

§  Be neat in your work and your appearance. 

§  Don’t ever gossip. If you can’t say something nice about a person don’t say anything. 

§  Never argue or fight with a critic. 

§  Learn to take constructive (or otherwise) criticism. 

§  Don’t even think of making money on your expense account. 

§  Remember names. 

§  Be professional in all ways. 

§  Don’t lie. If you make a mistake or mess up a job or whatever, admit it and learn from it. Move on. 

§  Start early and work late. 

§  Don’t be timid. Don’t be afraid of failing. Take a calculated risk if you believe. It is better to try and fail than to fail to try. 

§  Do smell the roses. You go around only one time, make the most of it. 

§  Get a life outside the theater. 

§  Find a great spouse or significant other. 
 

Without consciously being aware (Sonny teaches the most important things without you even realizing) I find that I have been following this advice. In general I have been successful.  For instance, I am writing this on a sunny Saturday afternoon when I could be outside.  On the other hand, taking criticism (constructive or otherwise) still needs a bit of work (Grrrr!) I hope you will find Sonny’s advice as useful as I have and that you will, in turn, pass it on to those you work with.  Las Vegas is not that far away, in the scheme of things, but phone, fax and email can’t compare to having lunch (always his treat,) talking shop, talking life and hearing a new story.